Speech & language therapy software

Stroke survivors awake one day with diminished abilities. Perhaps a paralyzed limb, or language difficulty. Suddenly, they can't do what they could do yesterday.

One of the problems they face is not meeting their own expectations because those are YESTERDAY'S expectations. They must adjust their expectations to their new abilities. Easy to say, difficult to do. That's a lesson for all (of us) overachievers.

I've reprinted and insightful article on this subject it (with permission) below. The article is about people expecting too much from themselves. There is nothing wrong with having high goals but there's not need to FEEL BAD about ourselves if we don't meet those goals.

We always hear the term "raise the bar" when speaking about

reaching our goals. We're told we have to keep "raising the

bar" to achieve greater and more wonderful things.

But what about lowering the bar?

I used to get up every morning dreading the prospect of having

to achieve more and more just to stay even, let alone get ahead.

But then I asked myself, "Why does the bar always have to be

higher? Why can't we sometimes LOWER the bar?"

One of my minister friends once said to me, "Life is like a

salami - you've got to eat it one slice at a time."

While it may sound logical to raise the bar -- and we've heard

that bromide so long that it seems like the only way to do things

-- the truth is that if we start the bar too high, we're going to

tell ourselves we can't do something because it's too hard.

Let me put it this way: let's say it's your first day of learning

how to high jump. You come out onto the field all motivated and

ready to go.

I'm your coach. And I set the bar at six feet six inches, because

I want you to be the best high jumper you can be. So you stand there,

all 5' 8" of you, looking at the bar waaaay up there.

And you say to yourself, "I could never do that."

I can see it on your face. So I say to you, "Come on, you can do it!

Just think positive! Get psyched! Get motivated!"

You, being the trooper you are -- and not wanting to disappoint me --

take a few steps backward, then run forward as fast as you can, jump

up with all your might... slam! Ram your head right into the bar.

"That's okay!" I say, clapping my hands and helping you up. "You'll

do better next time."

You gamely try again and again. I give you inspiration and try to

keep you "motivated" through the use of encouraging words and maybe

even a few affirmations and visualizing. "See yourself clearing the

bar," I say. "Write down words like, 'I can do it' and 'I can jump

really, really high.'"

But the damn bar hits you in the head every time.

Can you see that we do this to ourselves all the time? We place the

"bar" -- whatever it is, whether to make sales calls, talk with new

people or sell our screenplay -- so high up there *every single day*

that even when we do accomplish and get things done, nothing ever

seems good enough. Sound familiar?

But can you also see that this is all within our conscious volition

and control?

Let me put it bluntly: no one else is setting the bar up there for you.

No one else is telling you that you have to clear six feet on your first

day of practice.

Many people I talk with grew up in a family where getting straight A's

was expected and "good enough" didn't exist.

You and I may be so used to living our lives with this false sense

of expectations that we don't know there's any other way to live.

We must learn and adopt a new way of thinking if we are to conquer

the problems we face. Raising the bar is a good idea when you are

perfectly comfortable doing what you're doing. But for most of us

who are either starting a new venture or who are simply tired of

always having to jump higher and higher, lowering the bar can bring

a sense of accomplishment and actual _happiness_ -- perhaps unlike

anything we've experienced before.

Here's an idea: Write down 5-10 ways you can lower the bar this week,

this month, today. Then see how you can lower the bar

and give yourself the chance to succeed rather than guaranteeing failure

and frustration.

About the Author:

Since 1998, Noah St. John of The Success Clinic of America has helped

hundreds of entrepreneurs and professionals eliminate self-sabotage

and overcome the internal blocks to success.

To subscribe to Noah St. John's FREE newsletter or read a chapter